Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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