i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
