I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
