Porn is love you can see.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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