I want to walk on stilts...naked
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
