Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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