We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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