Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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