would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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