dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
