he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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