I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
