well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
