Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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