What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
