worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize