I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize