idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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