do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
