Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
