dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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