My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
