I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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