Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
