Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
