Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
