I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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