If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
