Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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