She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
