literally had 100 drinks last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize