you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
