im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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