The maid of honor just puked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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