Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
