I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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