He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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