its not stalking. its research.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
