Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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