I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
