its not stalking. its research.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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