so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
