Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
