I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
