Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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