$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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