when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
