Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize