ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
