Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
