hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
