I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
