Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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