The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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