What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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