I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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