it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
