Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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