Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
