How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
