Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
